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Changes Galore

My “new” life journey is now a solid six months in.  While the outward physical changes are so rewarding, the inner changes of spirit, mind, and body are priceless!  Eating clean, adding a “daily dose of dense nutrition” simply through adding Shakeology in the morning, and adding exercise to my daily living has helped me establish a strong foundation.

I would go so far as to say getting to this place of jumping in and doing it has taken years, many starts and stops, yet never giving up.  I have always desired healthy living, however, during earlier times in my life, looking back on those times, what I was trying was not right for me and I unconsciously allowed the obstacles I was facing to be stronger than the inner fighter within me.

Stability in my relationship has been key to changes along my life path.  When I met Will, I was struggling very much with depression.  I had a negative thought process which I passed off as being a realist.  He challenged me to, at least, not post negative thoughts/feelings on Facebook.  This impacted me – I love this man so deeply and did not want him thinking I was being negative…so I became cognizant and stopped this bad habit.  That was three years ago.  As I stopped putting out negativity, I noticed my thought process changing and my depression becoming more stable.

Jump ahead three years and I am so positive-focused and my mind frame is steeped in positivity.  Clean eating has no doubt contributed to my mood stabilization.  Depression and anxiety are null – that does not mean I am inhuman and do not have my “bad days” or struggle with things like PMS!  But I handle those times so much better!  I feel inner peace, joy, contentment.  I love my life!!  This is an amazing place to be at!  I had always struggled with life and the challenges of life.  When those challenges come now I am stronger and due to being positive-focused am able to weather these “storms”.  Through strengthening my body, developing mental strength and habits for positivity I come through these “storms” faster and more successful than I would have in years past.  I do not become derailed like I used to.  I also embrace the storms because that is how we grown and change – like metal, we are refined by fire!

While my excitement for each new day and my improving metabolism springs me out of bed each morning now and keeps me from napping (I seriously used to nap almost everyday and now cannot nap for the life of me!!) I thrive on the passion and positivity that flows through my soul daily.  I want to share that and bring that to the lives of anyone yearning for it…and stopping at nothing to get there.  It is possible!

Trust the Process; Trust the Program

I have been consistently committed to my daily lifestyle change for health and wellness for four months now.  Yesterday I decided to weigh myself, which is something I do not engage in frequently.  I have been noticing several changes recently in the way my clothes fit such as tightening my belt about 4 notches tighter (close to 2″) and the way my scrubs and jacket hang on me at work.  I wasn’t expecting big results.  After returning home March 31 from our trip to the Dominican Republic where I even worked out in our room in the mornings and kept up my nutrition, I only gained 3 lbs but easily got back on track upon returning (no access to All-Inclusive tropical drinks will do that!!).  I decided to do a more relaxed program, Country Heat, and focus a little bit on cardio.  This program is much different than the MMA-focused Core de Force or the pilates-yoga inspired 60-day PiYo, which I absolutely LOVE!!  Country Heat is pretty much like simple line dancing, but the slower pace allows you to actually concentrate on contracting and holding your muscles while you dance.  I do not feel a significant change in my appearance, only the change in how my clothes are fitting, as previously mentioned.

Needless to say, I have lost ten pounds over these last 3 1/2 weeks!  I am thrilled!  My coach always says, “Get off that scale!  Trust the process and trust the program!  It works!” and I can truly say it does!  I have not lost a total of twenty pounds since the start of this journey in January.  If I can lost another twenty over the next eight months I will be elated, however, my goal is to continue trusting the process and program and making sustainable lifestyle changes each day to continue a healthy lifestyle.

Who Are You?!

Today I am not myself.

That being said, I have chosen to go back on my antidepressant.  This looks like failure in my mind at the moment, however, since stopping my medication almost a month ago I have slowly declined and today I do not recognize the positive, optimistic, change-embracer (I’m declaring this a real word) of six weeks ago.  I have grown in irritability, anger, and pessimism; depression has reclaimed a toe-hold in my life again.  I will not let it get a foothold!  I tell my patients, medications for mental illness are like medications for diabetes, or high blood pressure…if you needed to manage your diabetes with insulin for your body to function properly, would you withhold insulin or metformin??  No!!  Same with antidepressants – and all other psychotropic medications.  If my brain needs help keeping its serotonin levels at a functional level, I’m not going to withhold my antidepressant.  Why would I not heed the advice I give my own patients? Where is the accountability and logic in that?

The past several months have been the best months of my entire life mentally – I will get back to that level of function.  But for now I will be gentle with myself.  I will work on accepting this physiological need and revisit it in the future.  I will continue to press forward, stabilize, and press some more…I will never quit hoping and I will never give up.