Trust the Process; Trust the Program

I have been consistently committed to my daily lifestyle change for health and wellness for four months now.  Yesterday I decided to weigh myself, which is something I do not engage in frequently.  I have been noticing several changes recently in the way my clothes fit such as tightening my belt about 4 notches tighter (close to 2″) and the way my scrubs and jacket hang on me at work.  I wasn’t expecting big results.  After returning home March 31 from our trip to the Dominican Republic where I even worked out in our room in the mornings and kept up my nutrition, I only gained 3 lbs but easily got back on track upon returning (no access to All-Inclusive tropical drinks will do that!!).  I decided to do a more relaxed program, Country Heat, and focus a little bit on cardio.  This program is much different than the MMA-focused Core de Force or the pilates-yoga inspired 60-day PiYo, which I absolutely LOVE!!  Country Heat is pretty much like simple line dancing, but the slower pace allows you to actually concentrate on contracting and holding your muscles while you dance.  I do not feel a significant change in my appearance, only the change in how my clothes are fitting, as previously mentioned.

Needless to say, I have lost ten pounds over these last 3 1/2 weeks!  I am thrilled!  My coach always says, “Get off that scale!  Trust the process and trust the program!  It works!” and I can truly say it does!  I have not lost a total of twenty pounds since the start of this journey in January.  If I can lost another twenty over the next eight months I will be elated, however, my goal is to continue trusting the process and program and making sustainable lifestyle changes each day to continue a healthy lifestyle.

Who Are You?!

Today I am not myself.

That being said, I have chosen to go back on my antidepressant.  This looks like failure in my mind at the moment, however, since stopping my medication almost a month ago I have slowly declined and today I do not recognize the positive, optimistic, change-embracer (I’m declaring this a real word) of six weeks ago.  I have grown in irritability, anger, and pessimism; depression has reclaimed a toe-hold in my life again.  I will not let it get a foothold!  I tell my patients, medications for mental illness are like medications for diabetes, or high blood pressure…if you needed to manage your diabetes with insulin for your body to function properly, would you withhold insulin or metformin??  No!!  Same with antidepressants – and all other psychotropic medications.  If my brain needs help keeping its serotonin levels at a functional level, I’m not going to withhold my antidepressant.  Why would I not heed the advice I give my own patients? Where is the accountability and logic in that?

The past several months have been the best months of my entire life mentally – I will get back to that level of function.  But for now I will be gentle with myself.  I will work on accepting this physiological need and revisit it in the future.  I will continue to press forward, stabilize, and press some more…I will never quit hoping and I will never give up.